Decision; Is taking one decision enough to end the battle? How much one could fight for, when he know that he would be known as winner either side in ways, but will loose everything from inside, from everyside? Many tearful days, nights, weeks and even months, much pain all the way and just then you realize that where Arjun was, when he ended up loosing “Gandeev” and crying all the way in middle of battlefield.
Sometimes you left with thinking that there is no place in the world, you might call as happy land, there is no one, who could have lived all the way just to make you happy, unfortunately not even you yourself. Everyone feels it at some point of time in their own lives. Its complicated, much more than you would have thought, much more than I could tell here.
The human life itself has made up of so many completely unknown and complex chemical combinations that even after thousand of years, we are struggling to make a meaning about, how could we have found that what could have made us happy? Which decision we took wrong, which path we didn’t insisted a little more harder, what was that we should have left behind, when was the moment, Arjun should have picked the Gandeev to loose the battle or to loose the meaning of losing?
Many of you might not find a meaning around what I writing here, some of you might even guess right or wrong, doesn’t mean coz I will never be here to answer for. Just because I ended with no answer. Sometimes one asks himself, did Arjun won something at the end? Did he chosen the right path to move on? Was he shown the real insight of the nature by Lord Krishna himself? If all of this really immaterial then why to fight for, why to live for, for whom?
Ajruns will keep on hearing and will keep on winning the battles to keep the nature on course, they will keep on doing what’s being made them realized as their “Karma” and at the end, only they will be ended with tears in legs of Bheeshma begging to forgive them. Bheeshma may forgive Arjun, but will Arjun smile again like once he did in embrace of Bheeshma?
Whom should he had blamed?
The mother, who divided his bride in all his brothers and brothers, who took the decision proudly? The brother, who lost him, lost his wife, all things he earned and all the things he didn’t even had right to bet on, in a bet? And why only brothers, when even his Gaandeev didn’t moved an inch, when his brother placed everything of him on a bet? Why Krishna still decided to come with him without his army?
He should have blamed the elders sitting around in the same palace, watching the show from their respective seats as they knew what’s keep their interests? What remained wrong in killing them, when they already participated in a thing that leaves nothing behind to live for?
Perhaps Arjun would have not taken a moment to take a side, if he wasn’t feeling that either sides lost him and more importantly, he already has lost himself. Truth is just that “neither side was worth fighting for, nor even his own life was left to be worth it”.
Unfortunately, the decision was taken for him, not only even at that day, but at everyday before; not even by one side, but by both the sides with same cruelty. His tears were as immaterial that day as they were ever. Not for one, but for everyone. He was not to be called coward at that day, he was already at everyday before.
There is still an Arjun; confused and stuck up. His mind becomes Krishna to give the ‘answers’ but heart doesn’t and still the question remains, why Arjun fought? What his “Karma” bring for him? If you don’t have to wish for anything and just have to do (as Geeta says) then why is this life and why we need Krishna’s words? Why Arjun fought?
Perhaps, Arjun’s Gaandeev was only way for Bheeshma, was only way for Karna, was only way for Drona and all the people, who continued to live in misery, but couldn’t have accepted it. They could have ended more gracefully, but Arjun was to go for the last misery of his life to pay for his indecision or rather than weaker judgments at moments.
I know just one could read it right … but does it matter? Bheeshma will still die? Arjun will still loose the battle.