Why Arjun should have fought? Was a Geeta enough?

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Decision; Is taking one decision enough to end the battle? How much one could fight for, when he know that he would be known as winner either side in ways, but will loose everything from inside, from everyside? Many tearful days, nights, weeks and even months, much pain all the way and just then you realize that where Arjun was, when he ended up loosing “Gandeev” and crying all the way in middle of battlefield.


Sometimes you left with thinking that there is no place in the world, you might call as happy land, there is no one, who could have lived all the way just to make you happy, unfortunately not even you yourself. Everyone feels it at some point of time in their own lives. Its complicated, much more than you would have thought, much more than I could tell here.

The human life itself has made up of so many completely unknown and complex chemical combinations that even after thousand of years, we are struggling to make a meaning about, how could we have found that what could have made us happy? Which decision we took wrong, which path we didn’t insisted a little more harder, what was that we should have left behind, when was the moment, Arjun should have picked the Gandeev to loose the battle or to loose the meaning of losing?

Many of you might not find a meaning around what I writing here, some of you might even guess right or tears-fallingwrong, doesn’t mean coz I will never be here to answer for. Just because I ended with no answer. Sometimes one asks himself, did Arjun won something at the end? Did he chosen the right path to move on? Was he shown the real insight of the nature by Lord Krishna himself? If all of this really immaterial then why to fight for, why to live for, for whom?

Ajruns will keep on hearing and will keep on winning the battles to keep the nature on course, they will keep on doing what’s being made them realized as their “Karma” and at the end, only they will be ended with tears in legs of Bheeshma begging to forgive them. Bheeshma may forgive Arjun, but will Arjun smile again like once he did in embrace of Bheeshma?

Whom should he had blamed?

The mother, who divided his bride in all his brothers and brothers, who took the decision proudly? The brother, who lost him, lost his wife, all things he earned and all the things he didn’t even had right to bet on, in a bet? And why only brothers, when even his Gaandeev didn’t moved an inch, when his brother placed everything of him on a bet? Why Krishna still decided to come with him without his army?


He should have blamed the elders sitting around in the same palace, watching the show from their respective seats as they knew what’s keep their interests? What remained wrong in killing them, when they already participated in a thing that leaves nothing behind to live for?

Perhaps Arjun would have not taken a moment to take a side, if he wasn’t feeling that either sides lost him and more importantly, he already has lost himself. Truth is just that “neither side was worth fighting for, nor even his own life was left to be worth it”.


Unfortunately, the decision was taken for him, not only even at that day, but at everyday before; not even by one side, but by both the sides with same cruelty. His tears were as immaterial that day as they were ever. Not for one, but for everyone. He was not to be called coward at that day, he was already at everyday before.

There is still an Arjun; confused and stuck up. His mind becomes Krishna to give the ‘answers’ but heart doesn’t and still the question remains, why Arjun fought? What his “Karma” bring for him? If you don’t have to wish for anything and just have to do (as Geeta says) then why is this life and why we need Krishna’s words? Why Arjun fought?

Perhaps, Arjun’s Gaandeev was only way for Bheeshma, was only way for Karna, was only way for Drona and all the people, who continued to live in misery, but couldn’t have accepted it. They could have ended more gracefully, but Arjun was to go for the last misery of his life to pay for his indecision or rather than weaker judgments at moments.

I know just one could read it right … but does it matter? Bheeshma will still die? Arjun will still loose the battle.

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Have you ever written diaries

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Did you come to see the recently released movie "Kartik Calling Kartik"? A ordinary guy, bullied by everyone else around him, all of a sudden find someone telling all the right paths to him and turning miseries of his life overnight into success coming from all over to his ways. Do you know whose voice that was? His own self. Surprised?? You can’t be/ shouldn’t be, if you ever been in writing diaries.

diary_open_520In moments of confusions with lots of questions swinging around, sometimes it can happen to you that you open a mail sent by yourself long time back and you find that the questions which seem to confusing you now, you already had answered them long back by yourself. You open few old sent mails years back and get surprised by even your own writing style then. Human mind has so many dimensions that leave others a side, one can’t even reach all the corners of his/ her own mind.

Diary … words written by self for self (May be someone else could have defined it more simply.)

One can never be sure, but historical counts say that the oldest extent diaries come from Middle Eastern and East Asian cultures though there been existence of similar things even much before that. For me, its something as old as human history itself is, but question is "what exactly it is?"

diaryA diary is a record (originally in handwritten format) with discrete entries arranged by date reporting on what has happened over the course of a day or other period. The writer may detail more personal information and normally intended to remain private or to have a limited circulation amongst friends or relatives. The writer may also describe recent events in his/her personal diary. The word "journal" may be sometimes used for "diary," but generally one writes daily in a diary, whereas journal-writing can be less frequent.

Oops.. I did it again. Went techie as many of my  readers keep on complaining me, though intended to keep it simple straight from heart. Coming back again…

I remember my own days, back to 1995, when I was in 8th standard. Don’t know what prompted me start writing diaries. May be father’s old diary might have been an inspiration or I thought to share my deep self to someone I trusted most in my life; myself. Started in simple Hindi, soon it was converted to English .. may be I thought to use this ‘useless’ habit to improve my English skills then.

When you start writing diaries, then you really come to know that what privacy is and why you wish it most ww11-secret sometimes. While it regarded as kind of sin, but nothing could interest others more than someone’s personal diary and you soon find yourself running around to find places to hide your diary as it starts growing up with your raw thoughts and secrets, which you might not wishing someone else to know at least at that point. Same happened to me, when I ended up converting my rather simple diaries into cryptic comments or rather a cryptic language.

I took two ways then …

  1. Mirror writing in which I was writing in way that would be plain English if seen in some mirror otherwise seeming confusing symbols.
  2. Writing diary in numeric codes (‘0’ for ‘a’, ‘1’ for ‘b’ and placing dots above numeric after 9).

Many of people around me found the second way more fascinating and interesting than the first one as I was able to write and read that way with same ease and speed as the usual English phrases. But still it was pretty easy to guess and once scared the hell out of me, when I found my mom trying to read it through mirror (I always kept my diaries at hidden places, but you know that you cant be sure about it) and ended to join both the techniques means writing in numeric with mirror image symbols.

You might be thinking that what is it now? If wanted to keep things that personal then what purpose of even writing the same? But once you start writing then you come to know that this things is really addictive.

Purposes that a diary solves

Its true that one cant be honest even with self and the diary is second to self. It happens that you write only those things/ thoughts in your diary, which at some point of your life you think that you could admit as of own but still it collects so much of your raw thoughts that even you feel surprised that did I really thought this then?

Your restlessness about getting just a mere glimpse of someone special, your jealously even pretending like nothing happened, your moving crushes and point of interests, your grief about your loneliness, your anger over restrictions from family, your joy of winning something you think other will think stupidity of yours, your true ambitions rather than what you say in front of your parents and friends, your dreams …. possibilities are endless about what you might be writing in your diaries and over the time, it become most precious friend of yours. Someone who listens you most patiently without commenting and answering you about your confusions in a voice you understand and trust most, yours own.

type-purpose A diary might be collection of some random writing of yours, thoughts might be foolish, but it starts making you mature and complete faster than otherwise you could only wonder. Interesting sights becomes the moments to see same words calming you down, which you once wrote in your most restlessness. A diary truely completes yourself.

When you leave it locked and quit writing?

Later on coping up with the time required to pen down your thoughts become more tougher considering other priorities of yours. Other people come to your life to share all the personal moments and thoughts of yours. Even you come to feel that you found the purpose that started your habit  of writing diaries and the loneliness is no more in your life, so diaries ……. not required now. More of it, even there might be things in life such that one don’t wanna to share ever, not even with self.

In more sophisticated way, we start thinking that we took diaries to recollect our thoughts, then re-evaluate the same to improve ourselves at stages and over the years, we find that now nothing remained to improve, we have already made our views and lives those are not gonna undergo some such big change that may require re-evaluation at any later stage. Ultimately,  you say that you don’t wished to be writer or never wanted that someone might be writing biography over you.

locked secret

Is it true? Writing diaries is fate of big people only? Can you be so certain of yourself that nothing to re-evaluate, when yourself seen so many changes over the years? Do you really think that you got the purpose that why you started writing diaries at the very first place? Do you think that over the time, it becomes impossible and even useless to keep on writing thoughts that touch your mind? Do you think that any other voice you can understand more, trust more than yourself?

Blogs, Social sites, Twitter (it suits first part of definition about time, though fails about privacy thing), SMS’s and insanely running life may make you think that Diaries are irrelevant in this era, but have a night alone awake thinking of only self. Don’t you want to write diary for self or revoke the same old habit of writing again???

Give me your thoughts over it. I’ll love it, if I find someone starting afresh again due to the conversations ..

photo of Nitish KumarNitish Kumar

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Again some bored holidays

Many a times, I ask myself that why don’t I write often? So the answer come from inside “Where is the reason? Where are the topics?” Sometimes, I hear a very low voice reply “Aren’t really they here?” Do I hear? Most of the times, I don’t. This is something, which makes me just like all of us, they notice, but don’t comment.

Why I came up for writing today? I guess nothing, complete nothing.

There was a two days visit to home on occasion of earned leaves, yeah I am not calling it on occasion of Vijayadashmi as it was not, it was just on occasion of ELs as I didn’t went out on the occasion and it remained as just an EL.

Installed Windows 7 over Laptop and it was just fine as it must have been. No surprises or specials as I already was done with the same installation earlier. But there were some annoying parts like the parental one Windows Vista itself. But overall, it was nice.

I think I could end this writing with recommending Windows 7 for people who have jammed themselves with Vista pre-installed in their Laptops and now struggling to get Windows XP into the same. Try Windows 7. It’s not as lighter as Windows XP, but sure better than Windows Vista.