-:Kabhi Alvida Na Kahna; Is it not with you? :- Re-Modified again on 5th September 2006
A lot of hip-hop and blah blah, that’s why I am forced to write again after many days. Interestingly this time, it is not an issue like reservation or lowering value of parliamentary sessions, it is just a movie named Kabhi Alvida Na Kahana.
A lot of my friends have discussed about this movie and most of them were not satisfied with this movie, although at the same time, most of them were satisfied with Krrish, as after watching this movie you need not to think about the movie and there was no message with it, but with KANK they have the problem, because it has something, which makes them think, which makes them scared a bit.a
The allegations were like this; after introducing Valentine Day and Friendship Bands, now the party is coming to break the relations. Firstly, they were targeting youth and now they are targeting the marriages, Indian Culture and faith in personal relations. And most unfortunate is that they have a large audience and even if we condemned them very hard, they are going to make there destructive ideas to public in their ways and we are unable to anything.
Not only India but outside India, in Asia and Overseas, the comments are coming in the similar ways. In fact, I was a little scared about writing on the same as even my best friend was very angry on it although she was the greatest fan of SRK movies usually. Anyway, coming to the point, the movie, its feel and character.
The question is that what message this movie is giving to public? Is it to break their traditional relations just for the sake of their some fantasies created by such movies and literatures? Or to cheat the persons, who are very much devoted to you, and might be finding the ways to please you and you are finding the ways to come out of relations? Are they trying to give the bad image of Indian community and the new generations?
My answer is something different as usual. According to me, there was really no direct message for the mass, there was no solution but it was the presentation of situations and a raised question. Is this really far from our life? Is this really a movie for overseas mass and has no touch to our traditions? Why people are so scared that they are refusing that they even have watched the movie or watched only the first part? Why are they scaring others not to dare to watch the movie? A movie with Shahrukh, Abhishek, Priti and Rani; and ofcourse with their best acting performances and you say that the movie is the worst ever. Definitely there is something.
In almost each serial being telecasted on small screen, there are more than enough extra-marital affairs, but we knew that they have not that large audience, so we were ignoring till yet, but this time thing was scaring us.
Personally I found the movie excellent and giving the right kind of message with perfect presentation. A lot of movies have been on the same topic but in their presentations, there were some common points. They were showing the relations, in which one sides were a little wrong or just ignorant and the other side people getting into in these extra-martial affairs were feeling guilty and finally the story was ending with making them back to their original relations.
But this time, there was neither guilt feeling nor the happy (?) ending in traditional style. What the hell they are thinking to define? I am not coming to the conclusion that I have planned to write in the last part of the Article.
Ok! I am starting from the positive points of movie. It presents the best situations that you may loose your partner, even if you are always enough flexible to be changed to hold your partner tide up with you. How it could happen and why? We are watching movie and feeling that there were mistakes by Dev and Maya most of the time; they were looking out of their marriages not Rishi and Riya. But if we really think so then we will not be able to stop the things like this. It is reality and ignoring problems do not solve them. Find the solutions and think that could we do something more than that what Rishi or Riya did to save their marriages, to make their marriages succeed. Do we have no solutions really?
Dev; a person, who is highly emotional and want to be the best to help and care others and trying to spread joy and happiness all over, always smiling and making people smile, caring people even if they are just strangers. Do you know no one wants to care about others from inside; they do care for others because from somewhere inside, they need the same thing back to them. We try to be ideal to others so that may find someone, who may care for us and could feel us, when we are not saying anything and just smiling. Problem is that they attract people like Dev might have made Riya attracted towards him in his college life, which were impressed by their ways thinking that the person will take care of them. But answer me; was he looking for a person whom he could care of? There might be already many friend with whose problems he was already messing up not expecting anything back to him. Doesn’t he has the right to expect someone more caring for him, something rewarding his attitude towards life till yet?
The story started when Dev was already married from last five years. A final football match of Dev and a turning point of career for Riya. Dev missing her Riya, who I am sure was an active one in his matches in old days but not getting time now for the only visible thing that Dev likes. Riya missing her best friend, who was sure caring and encouraging in her old days for her career. Tell me who was mistaking? From these all things, most of us missed one thing, which was being felt by Dev, it was their wedding anniversary and what he got from Riya, just a last line of conversation saying “Anyway, Happy Anniversary, Dev” and then the phone was disconnected without hearing that what Dev might have planned for the day. A lot of people are making just another means of his shit. But just think that how come that man could miss the day, because when someone becomes happy then he relates it with all the good things happened at the same day. For him the moment was most precious and what he got just a casual wishing, even if she was not working just was coming after an interview and now was free and was going to pick her boy from school but the wish came in with an “Anyway” and that too was not expecting anything back to her. Was not that enough to make someone feel that she was trying to make him feel that only she cares and he forgot everything.
He gave her the biggest gift as much he was best capable to give, a five million contract, his dream, which was known by Riya too but there was no one to celebrate with him one of the best moment of his life, his anniversary and his dream day. But even this was not enough to make his feelings be cared by his love, if it was really love.
Just think about the man, who lost his leg and so career, when he was at the biggest turn of his career, a five millions contract. Do you know what that was meant to him? After that he was the leading one in his family and then he was for the first time about get the thing after which he was able to answer everyone about him and his career. Moreover after that there was a possibility to get his love back to him as probably then she will get time for him and his only child on whose birth, he was the happiest an on the earth. He was just wishing rights without caring the others as was knowing that he was already much caring. He just smiled with tears when Riya said that he hates his failure in life and almost explained everything what was in his mind with the thanks for letting him stay in her house. When he was saying that the biggest failure in that house was their own relation then it was not meant to say that this was due to Riya. When we say something with a smile on face and with only few not coming out tears in eyes, then it does mean that we are loosing hopes for anything. At that time no one could expect anything positive from that person as the one is unable to give anything to even himself. Dev was in same state, thinking a lot and reviewing a lot of things, loosing himself for making everything right according to Riya even if was at the cost of his own character which was the only ideal for him as he was even wishing to see the same character in her own son. Right then there was the last string of hope.
Maya; A girl who likes that someone make her feel that she has something, who likes that there should be someone, who may make her laugh without feeling embraced that what people will say. A girl, who used to be quiet all over and only thinking and thinking, but wont be like that all over. She just wants to live her own life as she watches in movies and novels. A girl who want to live with all the beauty of nature, want to feel each and everything that might be coming in a relationship. She is just tired of being cared and really wanted to make her life moving on her own ways. A girl, who lost her parent in her childhood and then were living with the help of Rishi and his father, started to teach little children as was thinking to be independent and as was not from any technical backgrounds because of money problems I think, so there was no other option than teaching. But she was always feeling that something is missing and she is not living a life as someone happy should live.
Three year; a total of three years were taken by her to say yes to marry Rishi. In which way she grown up, things are getting so obvious for her. Like it was looking obvious to everyone that she will marry Rishi and Rishi will propose her some day. She just hated to be so obvious but what option she was having? To refuse Rishi? Why? There was not any fault of him. Why she was not feeling that special thing for him? Everything was just like 2+2=4. She was asking for her own life, but it continued in the same way as her childhood was. She was not expected to be that much quiet; she wants to talk but feels her so constrained in everything. In straight way, she was never wishing that Rishi may fall in love with her, she was thinking to go much much away from Rishi and her father, not because she don’t like them but because she was thinking to live on her own. But she was not thinking to hurt them. It was a kind of Ehsaan feeling that was making herself away from her and she was getting inside and away from whole world, parties and friends, that’s why never tried to make friends from her side.
The best bad thing with her happened that she was not able to have child of her own. As much you will try to do not make her realize, she will find ways to feel the pain. She was wishing to be with someone, who has his own life and nature and who don’t really show her that he cares for her, just care from his inside and rest all the time, he might be behaving unserious and making her too. She just wanted to live life for world and without caring anyone. She did not like only cleaning as even Dev said her Wafadar Jamadar. But it was a way to make her busy and away of thoughts as she was always saying to herself that everything is fine. You are having a perfect loving husband, what else you need more?
Just think about the statement when she said that “Tum meri kis duniya ka hissa ho, Rishi” and he answered “Tum ghar saaf karma chahati thi”. Just think how disappointed she was as a clean house in not her priority at all, she was expecting something else which her partner may figure out on his own. Just think what she said to Dev at that raining day “Jo mujhe samajh sake, samajha sake, mere halaat pahchan sake”, everything of her was in those words. She was wishing to live an informal life, in which her partner might use abusive words about others means totally careless about her female existence and the best if he really care for her feelings from inside without expressing and always knowing when she is needing something. There was something, which was not even known to Maya herself that somehow she was now a teacher from her inside means one habitual of caring others not being cared. She was needed a careless partner not the one who care for her as according to her, she was just the perfect one to care someone, if given the chance. She was wishing to change her personality completely means wishing to be a part of the crowd but there was no way till she was with persons between whom she has grown up. I don’t know that she was right or not.
Rishi; He is really a character from every one of us, most of the viewers were having sympathy for him and sometime even I thought that one should. A boy, grown up with very much emotional, sentimental and understanding father. Someone who really know about the things and feelings. From the start of the life, he learned to take the responsibility and caring others as even having enough feeling and sense of responsibility towards him, his father was a bit away from traditional father. Rishi has seen a girl from his childhood and was always curious to know about her as much as possible but she was a mystery for him from all those years. Whenever he might have thought about love, only one name was coming in his eyes. He finally named his curiosity as the traditional one. He was thinking to care for her wife as much he could. But from the first day, she was abnormal for him, sometime he thought that he understand her, sometime, he thought he not.
When we like someone then sometime we talk with her that much which even she might not be knowing, as everything might be happening in our thoughts. We smile, laugh and cry in that world and pose our loved one as the best one doing everything, which we wish, he/ she actually should do. He was trying hard to get her and even then he was not getting her. Really, it is a troubling situation for me or anyone else, that what to do in this stage? One way is never talking to her on the same issue and always talking to her on various issues other than likeness of her and another way was to be away from her with happy smile without making her feel that she is doing something wrong to him.
But right now, even I am not sure that what was the right solution? The only mistake done by Rishi was that he was looking for the things which were just visible to him; perhaps he was not capable for looking the things in a complete perspective. He never come to understand that what exactly Maya was wishing for. He tried almost all the ways to show that he loves her but when the same words, even if they are much much true and sincere, come to someone’s way almost everyday, then they come to loose their feel and touch. There were the words, the touch but nothing was touching Maya’s heart. Although he was knowing that too and at his side, he tried his best to touch
Riya; I don’t know while presenting career oriented girls/boys, why the story writers come to be a bit rude. She started with her introduction with the words that “Meri personal life aur professional life dono alag alag hai”. Many smart and practical people will come to angry with me, if I comment something bad on her attitude. Perhaps I have something to say or I haven’t anything. She was sexy, confident and smartest or almost the best for her career. In fact, while making our career and professional works, it is obvious that we come to miss some responsibilities but there is blade edge balance between the things, don’t forget. She was just perfect for everyone except the one whom she loved most and because of her busy schedules, she never come to find the actual reasons but was just being irritated. Even if she was trying her hard but her smiles and nature which was outside was not inside her home. Yes! Dev was much more rude and irritating with her but was there no way else?
There are always two ways; one easy and one which may seem impossibly hard. Obviously, we come to choose the easy way most of the time, after failing many times from passing through the difficult way and this makes the difference between normal and great people. For her there were two ways, one way was to make her busy in a life where everyone was admiring her and the another way was trying to change the attitude of her partner, who was looking like a kind of being away from her.
She was just given up because she was not finding anything wrong from her side. She was thinking that her all best efforts are never going to make her husband realize that how much hard wok, she do to take care of the family and him, how much care she is showing to him in that way. She was thinking that when she is not only just more than average but almost the best for each one outside her home, then why everything was wrong, when she was coming back to home in every eve.. And when Dev needed her besides his all irritations, she was just giving up and was happy in making herself busy. Sure, people will have sympathy towards her and I am too.
She was even much much more reliable and honest towards the relations than all the three other characters but she was not wishful to express the same as was thinking that other side should understand, because that was the reason for which she loved Dev in the beginning as he was understanding without even hearing any words from her side. She just thought that his husband is jealous and is in complex. Yes! He was feeling complex, but she never got an effective way to remove that and even I am not sure that I could give any solution.
Her husband was just needing that sometime she may give time to him and family on the cost of career sometime. He was just some selfish for a while. He always knew that she is doing all the good things for him, but when he never expresses his other feelings, then why come he will express his admirations for her? His way was different to show his care and one of which was that five millions contract, which he come to loose unfortunately. Riya really tried hard but she was just loosing the end of string. She was a perfect one to be wife of almost anyone.
Do you know overall what the problem with everyone was? Everyone was trying to be the perfect and in relations, sometimes and in fact not sometimes, but every time, it is necessary to make the other side feel that he/she is perfect. And we do not need to show this by saying to them or caring to them but in a way, they could not realize that we were praising and admiring them. Winning someone’s heart is not so difficult and does not need a lot of literature kind of words nor the big and romantic surprises, it just need little things, which may make your breaths stopped for a while and heart beating. Understanding someone every time is never easy as human kind is always the lazy and no one wants to put his/her professional time into thinking, but do you think that it is really impossible to understand people?
Yes!! You loose yourself so many times in this battle to know someone but if you give up then you will never ever get the same thing back to you.
Above all the allegations against this movie, this is a best presentation of thoughts and situations and moreover with the best selection of culture and nature of characters. It was the first attempt to show that you may loose even if you are the best. It is the ground reality of breaking marriages in now days; never think that it is not with you.
A lot of questions and a lot of things, but note that I am not giving up. Really have a lot to say but all that will be only one side. So, need to hear from other people that where I am missing the things. See, I admit that even I could not live all the four characters, so can’t explain them completely, so yours comments are invited to make this discussion complete.